How Rachel Hollis changed my life

Let me set the scene:

It was April 2018.

I was grossly overweight and uncomfortable in my skin.

I was in a management job with no power to change the metaphorical hamster wheel I was on in my career.

Not being there enough for my son created so much Mommy guilt, I let it interfere with my actual mommying.

My marriage wasn’t in a good place..on good days it felt like we were friends who co-parented yet most days it was closer to being in survival mode.

I had crippling anxiety that would keep me awake at all hours with my fear of failure, ever at the forefront of my mind.

I felt as thought was stuck with no viable path forward, it was as if I was at a precipice.. waiting for something to show me how to leap, to make a change.. I just wasn’t sure what that change needed to be.

I was heading to LA on a work trip and decided to extend my stay so I could visit with a friend in San Diego. My husband and I both travel for work on occasions so we’re very supportive in those situations. However, choosing to stay longer for personal reasons wasn’t something I typically did but I saw it as an opportunity that I had to take. I’m not sure my husband understood and I know for a fact my 7 year old wasn’t cool with it. The crocodile tears that flowed before my departure was one that could’ve earned Academy Awards. As I packed my car for the airport, I remembered I had to download a new audio book for the flight. Low and behold, ‘Girl, Wash your face!’ was recommended.

Prior to this, I had never heard of Rachel Hollis. I listened to her words on the flight, in the airport, and even in the rental as I was making my way down the California coast. I had borrowed time that allowed me to drift away from my anxiety, to breathe in the coastal air and truly enjoy it. In all of my free moments, I took Rachel in. I found her and her book at a time where I could truly appreciate it, at a time when I needed it the most.

With her words resonating in my mind, it made me reevaluate my entire life… where I had been, where I was stuck, and where I really wanted to be. I was never really a dreamer who allowed lofty ambitions as I have always been that girl from the trailer park just trying to get out. However, I didn’t allow any preconceived notions of myself to interfere with this self-evaluation journey that Rachel had prompted. The biggest ‘Ah Ha!’ moment was when I asked myself, if I were to die tomorrow, what is the one thing I would regret NOT doing… as I laid in the hotel bed after a few too many drinks at dinner, it hit me: I MUST WRITE A BOOK

So.. I began to write. I began to take her advise of focusing on myself, to change the things I can. Rachel gave a metaphor about us women each being a pitcher full of water. What we normally do is continue to pour the water out of our pitcher for our partners, our kids, family, friends, and strangers. We keep tipping over our pitcher to pour it out, until it eventually falls over and breaks.

The flipside would be shifting out intention to continuously filling up our own pitchers, so it will overflow onto our kids, our spouse, family and friends. The image of me actually shifting my focus from everyone around me to myself ..AND it actually working .. was a stretch, but one I was willing to try. So for the next year I became dedicated to figuring out what filled me up, what inspired me, what truly made my heart soar. Was it easy? No. Not even a little. Did I believe this would help me? At first, no. Most times I put taking care of myself last. Honestly, if I wait until everyone else was taken care of, I will never get to myself. Yet, the thought that if I actually take care of myself first, the excessive water will spread… That it would allow for me to have the energy, patience, and desire to give more to my family. This was #GOALS!

So what have I done since reading her first book?

I started writing my own book titled “It’s OK to Scream.. and other life lessons I learned while working at theme partks”

I went watched every video Rachel had ever made

I also read all Rachel’s books

I began my own blog of Mommy’s supporting Mommys

I got a new job in a company that actually values its employees

I got a breast reduction

I started my weight loss journey and work out 5-6 times a week

I’m continuing my education with certifications in my industry

I reread Rachel’s books when I needed a burst of inspiration

I have been on medication to help with my anxiety

I allow myself grace in my roles of being a mother and wife

I afford my husband and son that same grace

After all of this, I have noticed that not only am I happier than I’ve ever been, but all of my relationships are that much better, too. I adore my relationship with my husband who makes me full on belly-laugh on a daily basis. I am blown away by my son’s innate intelligence and creativity.. but most of all, his sincere heart that he shares with me every chance he gets. I have better friendships than I’ve ever had… the kind that allow you to be yourself, support you and make fun of you for it all at the same time. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say my cup (or proverbial pitcher) runneth over.

Did I think when I selected ‘Girl, Wash your face!’ that it would change my life? Absolutely not.. but I am eternally grateful for Rachel’s mission and heart… and highly recommend all of her work to all needing a bit of inspiration.. or in my case, divine intervention.

To Rachel,

My deepest thanks

XOXO-Nic